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An Empty Void
08 February 2010 @ 04:11 am
Wow  
Another weekend on nights, always gives me time to dwell on the past and read some old journal entries. It is unreal how crazy I was over a girl that would never give me a shot due to a crazy ex girlfriend. We could have had the world...or at least the state. Everything happens for a reason though, I suppose. I just hate it sometimes. I spent so much time infatuated with her, and I don't know if she ever even cared. But here we are...four years later and I am still hopeless. Haha.Anyways, got three new tattoos. In about another week 1/2, I'm getting two more. Then later on, I am going to FINALLY get my back finished. Don't know what all I want done though. I know one thing, I loathe cold weather. You and me baby...a thirty pack of Bud Light...we could change the world."This is because of you I don't believe..."
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
 
 
An Empty Void
26 December 2009 @ 07:01 am
Is this thing on? I couldn't tell you why I honestly am updating this, just read a lot of old LJ comments and remembered why I used to post on this so much.

Life has been...well, life lately. In case anyone doesn't know...I am still in Alabama, as much as I loathe it. However, last March had a little boy. Aiden Joseph. Love him to death.

I never finished college, and boy do I hate it.

Working a 'blue collar' job, or whatever you would like to call it. I am working at a steel mill.

What else...

I have pretty much fallen out of the music "scene". Really, any "scene" I was ever in...I am no longer apart of.

I have not been to Houston since June, I think. I have not talked to any of ya'll in what, years?

Just...things bother me these days. I hate I lost some people in my life, ya know? And the older I get, the more it haunts me.

Anyways, LJ I just thought I'd throw an update your way. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and has a happy new year.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
 
 
An Empty Void
23 December 2006 @ 08:53 pm
Nothing can make this Christmas good. No gift. It is nothing material. It's the fact that I'm in Mobile for Christmas. I have almost no friends...I think my dad is back in the hospital, and I'm sure it's for the same reason as last time. I can't handle it. I'm home alone for the weekend at that, no one felt it was necessary to spend Christmas weekend with me. I don't know about me anymore, I really don't. I spend too much time pretending to be happy, too much time avoiding the inevitable. I've been fighting depression for what...5 or 6 years? It doesn't go away, no matter how much I try to cover it up. No matter how happy I think I am, it all fades away. The few people I have loved, I push away because I do not want to drag them down with me. The other people I feel that I connect to, have nothing to do with me unless it is convenient for them. I can't take it...

I think the fact that I'm not with either one of my parents this Christmas really bothers me. This is the 2nd year in a row I did not see my dad on Christmas day. It is fucking pathetic. All I do is try to show him I care about him, but he does this shit to me.

I have no one to talk to here. The people that care about me are in Houston...and they're busy. or gone. Or I'm too stupid to tell them how I really feel.

I've dug too much of a hole...my past haunts me.
 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: Bright Eyes - Messenger Bird's Song
 
 
An Empty Void
07 August 2006 @ 07:01 pm
I have enlisted in the United States Air Force. I've gone through all of the paperwork and my physical. But I still have no clue when I'll leave for basic. Anywhere from October to November, hopefully October though.

I will keep people updated though, and I'm sure I'll have some kind of send off thing.

I had a new job, but they aren't going to keep me. So I'll probably go to Alabama and work for about three weeks or so, just to have some money to pay off my phone and credit card before I leave.

Call it an ignorant move, but I'm ready to do something worthwhile with my life. At least now I should get to retire in twenty years if I make a career out of it.

So until I leave...all I'm really doing is running, push-ups, and sit-ups. It's going to be a boring next couple of months, haha. But at least I'll be in shape.

And I'll get to play Air Force Rugby...hell yea.
 
 
An Empty Void
26 June 2006 @ 01:34 am
Sometimes I just feel incredibly dead on the inside.

I wish I had entertaining stories to post in here. But my life sucks.

I'm no longer attending UST. Going to go to UHD instead, so I can graduate on time. I'm ready to be done with school, and I'd prefer not to be in debt for the rest of my life.

Still no luck on job hunting.

My oh my...

The weird games you play. My head spins around sometimes just wondering what I'm supposed to grasp from things you say/write.

I'm ready to hide under a rock for the rest of my life. At least I won't need a job to do that. I wish jobs just grew on trees. I'm thinking I might go apply at Starbucks. Bite the dust. Work for the man. Money is money. And I have barista experience. At least I get benefits. And they work around school schedules. And lots of free coffee...That's all I need. Actually, I think I'm seriously going to go apply there.

I'm sick of struggling to find a job. I just didn't want to work with people again, but I guess I'll have to.

I spend too much time thinking of you. Even though I shouldn't. Can't we run away together?

How many more months of 2006 do we have? Too many, I'm sure.

I need a new video game. I want an X-Box 360. Someone buy me one.

Sleep is calling me. I think I'll try it out. Starbucks, here I come. Pay me well. Or die. Well, hire me. Then die. Right? Who cares.

Don't you just wish that things were different? That it was only the two of us, and no one else involved. Life is quirky. Or is it...well, I suppose that is the right answer. I think I'm about to play SNES emulator instead of going to sleep.

"This is because of you I don't believe..."
 
 
Current Mood: meh
Current Music: Zombies Ate My Neighbors
 
 
 
An Empty Void
05 June 2006 @ 12:27 am
Yes yes yes...it's my birthday. So happy birthday to me.

I'm no longer a teenager, boy does that suck.
 
 
An Empty Void
11 April 2006 @ 11:45 pm
So when was the last time I updated this thing, probably my tattoo. That is healed, I'm ready to get the other one and get them filled in, but I have no money. So that's always a problem. Just been working and going to school, nothing more than that. It sucks. I'll be home by my birthday, that's official. Still waiting to hear about financial status at St. Thomas, it'd be nice if they'd get on the ball. I submitted all of my paper work about two months ago. Apparently, they sent me a $50 check in the mail today too. Whatever...

Gas is high, money is slim...what a society we're living in. I paid $2.75/gallon. Horse shit, that is half of what I make an hour. Then again, I make nothing compared to the people who buy the barrels of oil and sell it back to us! I mean, that's how corporate America robs from the poor and gives to the rich.

Gotten three new cds lately. Avenged Sevenfold, Hawthorne Heights, and Atreyu. All three are decent, leaning more towards the Avenged Sevenfold as the best of the three. The new Atreyu isn't really something I've listened to all the way through yet, I'm trying though. The new Hawthorne sounds just like old Hawthorne, so I dig it. Will be glad when April 28th gets here, got tickets to Staind. That's two weeks from Friday, looking forward to that.
My last day of work is Friday too...did I say that already? I have to work the very long and stressful 8-5 tomorrow and Friday. Horrid horse shit is what that is. I hate that job, I really do. Remind me never to work in a public setting again. Unless I'm making like $10/hr.

I believe that is all I really have to say. Looking forward to being back in Houston, hopefully all things will go well. I know Warped Tour is going to kick ass this summer, mainly because A.F.I. is on it. Sadly, no Taking Back Sunday or Atreyu for me this summer. Makes me kinda sad on the inside. I'm sure I'll see them again though, at some point in my life. I'll be glad to go watch an Astros game too! Also, I'm supposed to be going to a Dynamo game or two with my pal, Robb Zipp! That should be fun. Soccer is about as close to a rugby game as you can get. Also, now that I'm into college football, I might be going to UT a few times to watch them play. Wish they'd play Alabama. Even though I'd be torn on who to choose.

Anything else...let's see...cut all of my hair off again, playing a lot of MLB 06', going to Baybears game (Padres AA team), watching movies, and about to start a NO FAST FOOD DIET! I swear, I can give it up. Drink more water, more juice, eat grilled chicken, get a lot of protein. Start working out again, start running...I'm probably the fatest I've been in awhile. Almost up to 200lbs, w/ no muscle mass probably.
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Avenged Sevenfold - The Beast and the Harlot
 
 
An Empty Void
18 March 2006 @ 11:19 pm
Curious as to what I did...

Follow MeCollapse )
 
 
An Empty Void
22 February 2006 @ 03:06 pm
People...I'm alive. And making an update. I'm moving home in May. I expect parties galore, or at least some sort of attention. I changed my phone number to a Mobile #, but I'm going to switch it back to a Houston number when I get home.

I'll have to find a new job...hopefully a real job. That I can work Monday-Friday and get 40 hours a week. I get almost 40 now, but I don't work Monday-Friday. I'm only off on Tuesday and Thursday, and almost always have to work weekends. I hate it! HATE IT! I don't go out, if I do, I don't do much.

Anyhow...

I guess I have nothing else to say. I'm bored. I have work from 5-10. Not looking forward to it. I need to do some homework and all that good stuff.
 
 
An Empty Void
28 November 2005 @ 10:41 pm
Hey. I have a lot to say. I need to get around to updating this and I promise I will over the next few days. I'm going to try and get back into using my LJ. Anyone want to rebuild my page for me, make it look snazzy?

I hate Alabama, and I want to move home.

I just went and saw MC Chris Saturday night. Probably the most entertaining thing I've done in months.
I got a concussion in my last rugby game. And I think I have hernia in my groin. But. I will tell you all about that later.