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An Empty Void
23 July 2005 @ 02:30 am
I hate it here!

Houston is so much better. Since being here, I haven't went out once. Nope...none.

I better find some friends when school starts, but I'm sure I'll be too busy trying to work...and struggling to fit Rugby into my schedule. But I refuse to quit...its the only source of fun I have. The only escape I have to release anger. Frustration, etc. When I'm on the field, nothing else matters.

POOP! Someone save me. Win me a million dollars.
 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
 
 
An Empty Void
10 June 2005 @ 08:33 pm
Yea, I know, I shouldn't been letting people know for quite some time that I was leaving but I've been busy and ya' know, kinda avoiding it. But, well...all I can really say is goodbye. and sorry.

Leaving at 6 in the morning. So, guess will see all of you some other day. Sorry for not really saying bye, and not hanging out with most of you when I should have.

I'll miss Houston, I'm sure. But I need a change of atmosphere, a new lifestyle...just, ya' know. Some excitement. Houston got boring. I was stuck in a dead end job, and a dead end everything else. School wasn't that great my first year. But now, everything will be different, hopefully.

And I honestly don't care about people's jokes cause, as long as I'm happy, then I could be living in middle of nowhere with a bunch of rednecks, it doesn't matter.

So, goodbye Houston.
 
 
An Empty Void
13 April 2005 @ 01:31 pm
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An Empty Void
13 April 2005 @ 01:56 am
Random Comic Generator v2.0 by Delya
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Quiz created with MemeGen!
 
 
An Empty Void
03 April 2005 @ 05:03 am
I'll be the first to admit, I have no idea what time it is. I think it's 5 in the morning. Which sucks, cause I have to work today. But, that hour threw me off...been watching "The O.C." on DVD non-stop. No interruptions to it. No questions, phone calls, food breaks...its just my bed, the DVD, and me. It's eerie. Knowing I spent my Saturday night in, watching that. I feel like a girl.

I think this loneliness at night, it consumes me. I've been alone for awhile now. Guess since a little after school started. The whole Aimee situation I ruined. Tried to re-establish things with G. That didn't work at all, she's a fake bitch. Dealing with multi-personalities is never an easy thing to do, especially when the girl goes from a really nice person to someone trying to fit in with people who hate her, while all you can do is look at her and laugh. Cause it's sad, right? Watching someone trying to fit in...when they really don't.

So where does that leave me? No girls ya' know...taking up my free time. Well, I'd have to say it's equated to catching up on a lot of school work, hanging out with Jose and Ainslea a lot (yet not feeling like a third wheel), buying myself sweet sunglasses and shoes, listening to The Mars Volta constantly, and...well, writing. Non-stop. Fantasy wrestling, poetry, lyrics, papers...its beautiful. My novel? I think its dead, I want to work on it again though. So I might. I might...ya' never know with me these days.

So, I lied...there's no girl. There's one. But she's irrelevant as of now. I made her a Mix-CD, brought her home ice cream, got her some flowers...all of which I did, just to win her over. But I failed, I think. I know...well, I mean. Who am I to say anything these days? My mind never really knows what to think, whether its working or not. I don't think it is working sometimes.

Today (tonight) is Wrestlemania. I'm going to go watch that. Who knows what will come out of that.

I picture myself in a crowded room..we're at a party, socially ya' know...Not together, didn't even know she was there. I walk up behind her, I whisper something into her ear. Next thing I know, we're alone in a bedroom. This is my moment, then I realize that this is a dream. It wasn't sex I was after though, it was the touch. The kiss, the snuggle...The last cuddle of my life. maybe, who knows.

Am I suffering from lack of sleep? Or am I delusional, I can't tell anymore! My life is good great. Why? Because, I have no worries. At least, I don't worry. Life is going to settle down eventually, so why worry about it now?

Let this mistake bring a vivid crystal to her eye.

I cannot inhale the sparkle of your voice.

I miss Rugby. Saturdays seemed so meaningful then. Now, they're just another day. I forgot what a weekend feels like. One of my fellow rugby players is in the hospital. Some sort of sickness has attacked him. I hope he gets better soon. Apparently, whatever is going around is hardcore. So now I'm worried, cause as usual, I'm sick. And I can't tell if I'm getting better or worse these days.

Cartoons are on my TV now. I finally turned off "The O.C.", good right? Yes, splendid. I haven't been to a concert in ages. I missed UnderOATH. I'll miss most shows. Money, the root of all evil!
 
 
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: Dios Malos - You Got Me All Wrong
 
 
 
An Empty Void
26 March 2005 @ 10:08 am
Another one of my random updates, these are limited edition these days. I suppose life is going good. I spent the first part of yesterday asleep, the second part in the greenspoint/1960 area hanging out w/ friends. Went to Willowbrook mall, had some shady mexican food, then to Mountasia for a shit load of fun! Then I headed home, where I finally hung out with this girl. That was fun...for the time it happened.

I bought the new Mars Volta cd and its amazing. I'm listening to it right now, actually. I have to go to work today, which sucks. I honestly don't want to go, but I do at the same time because I'll make some tips hopefully. And, its still money on my paycheck. Also, my boss owes me money. So all is well! Muwaha.

Anything I didn't cover?
I want to get back to the dorms already...I have a test on Monday in Enviro Science, not looking forward to that. Really not looking forward to any of the school work I have to do. I have a paper due Wednesday, more tests coming up, more papers coming up!

St. Thomas is annihilating my brain! I think that's all for this update though, I'm off to kill time before work.
 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: The Mars Volta - Cygnus...Vismund Cygnus: Facilis Descenus Averni
 
 
An Empty Void
09 March 2005 @ 12:22 am
I never update...I've fallen partially in love with my xanga. Or, maybe I'm just extremely lazy and never update anything. Either way...in due for an update.
Prepping for Theology test tomorrow, snot worried though. Looking forward to getting the test out of the way though.
Thursday = Public Speaking test. A bit worried. I lost my notebook the Wednesday before Spring Break...lost a bunch of notes, handouts...got over it. I know I lose everything.

I'm falling for this girl. I don't think she knows it...and I could be crazy. Who am I kidding, I am crazy. I deserve to be in a loony bin. I aced my English mid term. 93. I'm not doing so hot in my Environmental Science class and lab. Oh well.

3 months from tomorrow...possibly...= my departure. Shall I start the partying...the bonding...now?
 
 
Current Music: Finley Quaye & William Orbit - Dice
 
 
An Empty Void
07 February 2005 @ 04:21 pm
So lately, I've been sickened by these couples that are all into each other. From random xanga's and livejournals, some people on myspace, etc. It just sickens me. I could call it jealousy, but I can't because I don't want anyone. I've had a lot of opportunities to "love"...but I think love is just over rated. I've been there, done that...it usually just ends up shitty no matter what. Because eventually, even if everything is perfect, one of you has to die. So the whole purpose of love is to feel pain. At least, that's what I think.

School is super shitty. I'm really behind in every class, but all I do is homework and read. I have to write a paper tonight, and begin working on two more huge papers. It's going to be exciting. The two huge papers are due a week from today, by huge I mean 5 pages. But it's 5 pages over crap I know nothing about.
Paper 1 = 2 page paper over Sir Gawain & The Green Knight
Paper 2 = 5 page paper over passage from Bible (fuck you Theology, God doesn't exist)
Paper 3 = 5 page paper over "Dead Man Walking" (fuck you Ethics, you're a pointless class)

So yea, 2 & 3 are going to suck the life away from me this week. I shouldn't be in these classes. For those of you that don't know, I'm finally moving from Houston. It's a wonderful thing, I still need to get more stuff situated, but I'm most likely going to University of South Alabama.

The bad thing though, I am in constant contemplation of dropping out right now. I'm going to fail most of my classes, I just...I'm not smart and I'm sick of trying to act smart. I study, I read, I go to class...but I don't comprehend the knowledge nor do I store it. I cheated in high school or used notes on almost all of my tests. Every once in awhile, I got something.

You'll just say I'm being down on myself, but I'm truly not. I bust my ass off for nothing I think.

So the moral to this entry...love is over rated and school sucks.

I don't even go out anymore. Going out for me is going to play Rugby games in another city. So I can't quit. I need the escape. But I'm taking this week off due to homework and what not.

Oh wait, Valentine's Day gets better for me. Two papers due and a Test in Environmental Science lab.
 
 
Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: Unearth - Predetermines Sky
 
 
An Empty Void
03 February 2005 @ 01:25 pm
I miss my LJ friends.

how are all of you?
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Fear Before The March of Flames - The God Awful Truth
 
 
An Empty Void
28 January 2005 @ 07:02 pm
Well, I'm going to update this livejournal for old time's sake.

I can't really say what's been going on lately, cause nothing has. I've sunken into this constant circle of life. School, rugby, sleep, work, homework (x100,000). It's an infinite loop and I loathe it.

Nothing spontaneous...nothing insanely fun. No late night trips to Galveston, no hanging out with my old friends.

It's starting to hit me that I have the option of moving in 5 months! 5...
Isn't that scary? To know that Joey is finally going to leave Houston for a year or so. A YEAR! I just want out of this god forsaken town.
Right now, there's a person in my room that really annoys me...to the maximum. I can't stand people, let alone annoying people. I really have grown to hate St. Thomas, it's a sad excuse for a college. The girls here are lame, the people here are immature...it's just a high school with older people.

Only thing I enjoy here is Rugby...And maybe my English class. Then again, there's the group of girls in there who still think they're in high school! So whatever.

I'm going to go take a nap...yes, nap I shall. Then I might do something tonight, probably not though.
 
 
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: Annoying Voice....BAH!